or the art of finding time.
I have been following the discussions on Terri Windling's excellent journal; she has the ability to trigger your thoughts into thought pathways not often trod. I find it a bit like mental gardening; it gives me the tools to clear away the unwanted detritus of everyday life so that other ideas might bloom and flourish.
The weeds I am trying to clear away at the moment are the choking vines of "must do", "imperative" and "I needed that yesterday, why isn't it done yet?". We seem to have modern lives that are bounded by deadlines and arbitrary bureaucracy that takes no heed of our inner needs. I am not so naive that I cannot see that some deadlines are necessary. I have a job that has an urgent rhythm to it; the beat of it's drum is urgent and insistent, demanding that my feet march in time with it's step. Yet the balance between that and my spiritual needs are often out of balance and under the perpetual tyranny of no time.
From Lawrence Wright: The Clockwork Man.
It is also possible to suffer from the tyranny of one's own urges, creative or otherwise. The times we are driven to wake with the insistent knock of image and word in our skull, needing outlet without regard for rest.
The wanting to make many different things all at the same time. This latter is my perpetual problem; from daybreak on I find I want to paint, talk to my children, play cricket with Matthew, cook frivolous food before moving on to using fabric and fiber; finally settling down to read a good book. My use of my time requires discipline and marshalling; even though some of these things cannot bear to be parcelled out in to allotted times.
Each day is step forwards, balancing the wants in one pannier and the requirements in the other.