Sunday, 1 July 2012


or the art of finding time.
I have been following the discussions on Terri Windling's excellent journal; she has the ability to trigger your thoughts into thought pathways not often trod.  I find it a bit like mental gardening;  it gives me the tools to clear away the unwanted detritus of everyday life so that other ideas might bloom and flourish.

The weeds I am trying to clear away at the moment are the choking vines of "must do", "imperative" and "I needed that yesterday, why isn't it done yet?".  We seem to have modern lives that are bounded by deadlines and arbitrary bureaucracy that takes no heed of our inner needs.  I am not so naive that I cannot see that some deadlines are necessary.  I have a job that has an urgent rhythm to it; the beat of it's drum is urgent and insistent, demanding that my feet march in time with it's step. Yet the balance between that and my spiritual needs are often out of balance and under the perpetual tyranny of no time.

Page 30
From Lawrence Wright: The Clockwork Man.

It is also possible to suffer from the tyranny of one's own urges, creative or otherwise.  The times we are driven to wake with the insistent knock of image and word in our skull, needing outlet without regard for rest.
The wanting to make many different things all at the same time.  This latter is my perpetual problem; from daybreak on I find I want to paint, talk to my children, play cricket with Matthew, cook frivolous food before moving on to using fabric and fiber; finally settling down to read a good book.  My use of my time requires discipline and marshalling; even though some of these things cannot bear to be parcelled out in to allotted times.

Each day is step forwards, balancing the wants in one pannier and the requirements in the other.

1 comment:

  1. "We get many lifetimes in this one lifetime" as a wise friend once said! When I was 17 I wrote a long paper about how time does not exist... then a few years later at the ripe age of 27 I felt that I had all the time in the world... now at 57 I know that I have "x" amount of time left to manifest my dreams on this plane in this lifetime and this thought brings a lot of focus into each day!
    for inspiration Madeleine L'Engle's wonderful book "A Wrinkle in Time" & Audrey Niffenegger's "The Time Traveler's Wife" are perennial favourites for exploring the idea of jumping time.
    & "Jumping" a 1984 animation by Osamu Tezuka
    & from Margaret Atwood's book "Cat's Eye" (page 3)-
    "... But I began then to think of time as having a shape, something you could see, like a series of liquid transparencies, one laid on top of another. You don't look back along time but down through it, like water. Sometimes this comes to the surface, sometimes that, sometimes nothing. Nothing goes away."
    I love that, good luck with stretching your time, it helps to know it is elastic!